Monday, June 24, 2002

Reasons Dumb People Think that Global Warming is Real


Reason #1: Two or more guys in white coats say it is.

Reason #2: It's really hot sometimes.

Reason #3: Dairy Queen "Blizzard" seems to melt a lot faster than "back in the day."

Reason #4: All the movies say so.

Reason #5: Sometimes, when it's really hot, you feel like maybe you can't take it, man.

Reason #6: The New York Times says it's getting
hotter, and they only have, like, 1,500 corrections a week.

Reason #7: These same eggheads were wrong about global
cooling back in the 1970's, so we must be right this time!

Reason #8: Tim Robbins did a special on Lifetime.

Reason #9: People are bad, you know?

Reason #10: Big corporations make it hot so they can sell more air conditioners.

Reason #11: Man, like, it hardly snowed at all last winter.

Reason #12: Dude, like, open the window! Everybody's wearing sandals.

Reason #13: Republicans are in power!